unproductive day

Assalamualaikum dan selamat sejahtera...

so, here we are. at the end october. hey,welcome november! 
today, the class is at 2 pm. and yeah,i'm sitting in the room doing nothing at all facing le baby lappy. browsing some clothess, stalking, etc. ain't productive at all kan?
If i got plenty of money, i would go for facial at the salon.unfortunately, sekarang tengah sengkek and i want to save some money so that i'll have enough fulus until the end of this sem.

Time flies quickly that i didn't even realize it's already week 8! O.o 
so, next week we're having holiday~ i can't wait to go back to ma home! i miss home so much. and of course i miss every people in it;family <3>

I don't know how to describe my life going through this semester. I felt awful and stupid. as the marks for the first tests are ugly! i cried of course. I've never cried for test but then,eventually i cried. those who had been successful and excellent before, then suddenly failed bit by bit, you'll understand the pain i felt. here, i feel very stupid and blur. it feels like i don't belong here. the insecurities that i felt keeps haunting me. since the results for the first tests were given, the feeling of insecure, unwanted grown stronger than before. why am i like this T.T wuuuu~~

but then, this one tiny voice inside me held me up and said ; accept yourself for who you are,never give up.accept your weaknesses and love yourself. give 120% effort + keep faith on Him.
where's the old me who'd never give up? i think i'm kinda lost myself somewhere else. i lose focus. so now, stand still, be strong and grab all the things you've left out. learn from the past. *sigh*

this month had been wonderful since i gained a lot of experience! being a volunteer in BSN nite run and penyambut tetamu for convocation. it did challenge my faith and patience >.<
but, i think i've passed all the challenge.hee.it's all over for this month=very challenging and deadly month i'd say ;P

so,here for cuci2 mata ;)

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